Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML
Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I dropped it off as usual, but my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6-year-old patient. FML
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML
Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML
Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
Well, at least they were kinky... Otherwise, this would be weird.
missmeliss0309 0
how are they a perv? they are required to open the mail... O_O
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Comments (86)
Dynoblaze 1
damn. talk about awkward. though this is really an fml for the secretary. "today my boss got some kinky sex toys. Stuff that looks like it hurts. I just got called into his office. FML."
andie_lala 0
I AM his secretary (administrative assistant)! I said that in the FML. But I'm pretty sure they were for him and his wife. There was some...uh..."stuff" in there for her, too.
FarSide 23
OP: did the boss say anything when he noticed the box was open?
Qup 0
ick.
jewelzgalore 0
awkward much?
glassisass 0
how is this an fml. its awkward, i'll give you that. but its not FML...
hahajkyeah 0
Check the label idiot
triplethreat13 0
FHL not yours! you have the advantage of giving him a disapproving look to make him feel mortified. then he'll offer you anything you want so you don't tell anybody, you ask for a promotion, and then you are no longer a mail guy. or you ask for a raise, so you are a mail guy with twice as much money as the other mail guys.
plexico 4
If you were a good assistant you would have broken the toys in for him. That plastic-y, factory smell is just so off-putting, he might just lose his boner when he first puts them to use. He'd be happier and you'd get a raise if his toys smelled lightly used.
1234five 0
kinky ones..? Arnt all sex toys kinky??
TheCashMan88 0
OH NO I DISCOVERED MY BOSS LIKES KINKY SEX FML Get the **** over it. Believe it or not, people enjoy sex in different ways.
Finnboghi 0
Agreed entirely. Is knowing that your boss and his wife use toys really going to **** over your life so badly?
fuck_YOUR_lives 0
the best ones.