Today, I was opening and sorting mail for my boss as part of my job. One package was delivered to the office instead of his home by mistake, since his house is next door on the same property. I didn't notice until I had opened it. I had to hand my boss an opened box of toys. Kinky ones. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML
Today, I was told by Amazon that a belt I had ordered was arriving. I grabbed an Amazon package out of the mailbox without even checking who the package was addressed to. I now have an awkward apology ahead of me for opening my stepbrother's box of condoms. FML
Today, UPS delivered my kinky sex toys to my ex-husband. Apparently the delivery went wrong so they sent it to the last known address. He called to say he got my "package" and I had to go pick it up. FML
Today, I was delivering packages to patients in the hospital for my job. My boss gave me a room to deliver to, and I dropped it off as usual, but my boss gave me the wrong room number. I had to walk in, apologize, and take back balloons and a stuffed animal from a crying 6-year-old patient. FML
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML
Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML
Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
Well, at least they were kinky... Otherwise, this would be weird.
missmeliss0309 0
how are they a perv? they are required to open the mail... O_O
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Comments (86)
wordly 0
Your life doesn't suck, that's amazing!
Otaku31 19
How?
CallMeTheHunter 0
this is an fml for your boss not you, fool. **** your life for being a loser
Crunchy_fml 0
It wasn't a mistake, your boss wanted you to see them.
woody18plus 0
haha i 2nd this totally
TheTragicReturn 0
You opened a box. I'm sure you'll make it through this un-traumatic experience.
DrAwesome 6
Well, at least they were kinky... Otherwise, this would be weird.
the_guy21 0
blackmail?
blarney 0
he's gonna use them on you! run!
PimpinPenguin 0
So your boss uses toys who cares?
andie_lala 0
I didn't really want the knowledge that my boss has use for a stainless steel butt plug. Or for him to know I know he has use for a stainless steel butt plug. I didn't say anything of course, and am just hoping he thinks I didn't realize what it was. (I thought it was a piece to our machinery until I saw the packing slip.)
Levixxrock 0
whyd you open it?
Nandian90 0
Sounds more of an FML for your boss. "Today, my mail was accidentally delivered to my neighbor. She opened the box of my sex toys...my kinky sex toys. FML"
andie_lala 0
I'm not his neighbor, I'm his assistant. And I have to see him (AND his wife, who works in finance) at work EVERY DAY.
fretforyerlatte 0
andie_lala, if you're the OP, why do you have a different name than when you posted the story?
maddi27 0
exactly. the original poster is TMI not andie_lala
andie_lala 0
I didn't register until after I posted the FML. I wanted to comment and had to register, but TMI was already taken.
andie_lala 0