Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
Today, I was running late for a job interview so I took what I thought was a shortcut through an dank alleyway. I ended up getting chased by a pack of stray cats and arrived at the interview covered in scratches and cat hair. FML
Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I finally had an interview for my dream job. It was all going great until I started chuckling uncontrollably, snorted like a pig and hit the guy with the world's largest snot rocket. All I could do was slip out the door as he sat paralysed with shock. FML
Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML
Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML
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Top comments
Qwermy 16
Those douchebags sure showed you their true colors, OP
dawood_k 27
Ain't nothing like painting the town red, and it's people too... (Was it at least red paint?)
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Comments (92)
AANGG666 6
What's a "cockbite"? I've never heard someone be called that before. XD
buckdharma 38
Hopefully you're a neutral color so you don't clash with your decor.
yourwifelovesme 25
"I see a line of cars and they're all painted black...." -Rolling Stones
taywuzhere 11
Shhhhh just act normal and maybe no one will notice....
badminton 14
Act casual
KimchiKim 9
Cockbites? I swear I absolutely love you Irish people. You are the best at insults.
amicusbriefs 10
I'm not sure if I like the insult or OPs name better.
De_Bri 16
Both are just brilliant. I'm with you am can't determine which I like more. I know for one I'm going to have to start using those terms.
Attacksloth 33
It'll be a paint-staking process getting hired now. Brush up on your interview skills and you'll be primed.
boshbish 14
Oh my. FYL indeed. I hope when you called/showed up that your potential was understanding and willing to reschedule. Best of luck out there OP!
PewDiePie_Lover 14
did you get the job?
ladybugz23 13
those dumbasses
91hayek 31
There are now several fmls about people being hit by projectiles from moving vehicles. I myself have been hit by eggs. Why do people do this? Is it fun? Or some kind of rite? I really want to understand.