Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML
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Today, as a flight attendant, I had to deal with a passenger staring at a stewardess constantly and masturbating. His wife was sitting next to him and didn't mind. FML
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
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Top comments
hairt 4
when you land remember to...... hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide your husband coz they're rapin' errbody out there!
tpea 1
Did you enjoy the book? ;)
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Comments (144)
PeteElMalo 0
at least the flight wasn't longer than 4 hours ... they recommend seeing a doctor if that happens!
perdix 31
So, he flew with it in the upright and locked position -- how safety-conscious!
realangelofdeath 0
Haha I see what you did there.... Clever. I laughed so hard.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
You should have asked the steward/stewardess for a nice, stiff drink. That could have calmed your nerves, and the rest of your flight would have been fapulous.
PimpdaddyCJT 13
yay I love your awsome comments without YDI
FruityLoooons 8
...why was he giggling, though?
Cinn_fml 23
Immaturity? Or maybe because there were some funny lines in the book?
Spastastic 6
I'm imagining someone like Mr. Teatime (Teh-ah-tim-eh) in the Hogfather movie. ...Was that way too obscure of a reference?
DineshKarthikesu 0
I bet it was a long, hard flight for you.
Igor_g5 0
And of course you had to look at his lap for the whole flight. You should have jerked him off and it would have gone down.
jlynntiger 0
that would make me so uncomfortable!!
BabyENN 2
Loool I was just listening to that. WIN!!!
UpYoursInAdvance 0
LMFAO CREEEEEEPERRRRRRR LMFAO... BUT WHO AM I KIDDIN... THAT'S MY KINDA GUY!!!!
artssfreak 0
could be worse. I mean a two hour flight isn't long at all.