Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
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Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
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Top comments
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
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Comments (86)
jmeg_fml 0
just personally, i find being called a name like that on a very first date a little bit too much. it's cute and endearing when y'all have been together for a while, and it's an expression of affection... but i feel like it comes off as slightly creepy and somewhat assuming/degrading when you don't have a longstanding mutual bond. sorry that she misunderstood, that's unfortunate, but maybe it's better to avoid pet names on the first date anyway. plus someday you'll both look back on it and laugh.
xfliegen 0
learn to speak properly dumbass and maybe she will be able to understand you.
TROLLINshitUP 0
BALLS
birdsfly01 0
How do you guys know he's from texas??
did_it_4_lulz 0
Because it only says it right after the OP's name and the country he lives in.
birdsfly01 0
Hmm all I see is the OPs name the time and date :/
Ducati45 0
LOL i think it's good to have a funny story like that about the person you're with.
PwnerJohn 0
hearing fail. fhl for not hearing correctly
MysteryJoker 5
Did you call her deaf and stupid afterwards? That would be the appropriate response.
Tekno4Lyfe 0
lol shutdwn!!"P
suzzette_fml 0
LOL that's so funny!!! I hate how people get all serious when reading these things just look at the funny side!! it's f-in hilarious!!!