Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
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Top comments
zargon 1
I thought it was common wisdom by now: Don't say negative unless you're willing to accept the possibility that whatever you say applies to the person you're talking to.
Arkluq 2
ALWAYS ASK WHO'S CAR IS IT! God. YDI for being a ******* tard and having a huge mouth.
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Comments (59)
Br0wnPr1d3 0
What is up with all these poorly written FML's lately? You guys should really re-read your post before you hit submit.
YayAmerica 0
She's a student. She probably wouldn't have the luxury of a nice car. That was really thoughtless of you.
BikerMike 0
In college I drove a Mercury Bobcat station wagon (a classier Pinto) for two years. The car was my high school graduation present and it cost my mom only $75. In those two years only one girl ever went out with me and that is because she did not know what I drove. The people who judge others by how much their cars are worth/cost are some ignorant pieces of donkey shit. I hope you had a nice long laugh you ******* ********.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
As long as it could run I'd buy it for $75! As long as it gets you from point A to point B. Plus, you can buy something better after you graduate and utilize your college education.
Royal_Blue 4
Ahh....this is why you don't insult things on a first date. You never know who/what she might hold dear.
PhillyFox 0
Keep your big mouth shut next time. Some people can't afford nice cars like you can.
Phinehas 0
You mean, like his parents can. This loser isn't capable of earning any money for himself.
thebigslim 13
So when is the second date?
snafu57 1
someday you can both look back on this and laugh. if there is a second date.
BillieJean96 0
i dont get this FML....?
Alexweber929 14
Really?
blueknight1st 26
Way to show her just how immature you are and on a first date no less.
i_say_rawr 0
there is NO WAY you'll ever get a second date with her, YDI