Animals: Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 249

You deserved it 7 310

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Same thing different taste

Rocky VIX

By Anonymous - 29/09/2019 20:06

Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 354

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 28 622

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 776

You deserved it 31 273

By scratchpost - 28/10/2010 12:07 - United States

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 917

You deserved it 4 621

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 283

Jackson Galaxy moment

By Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 361

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 549

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 4 965

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 157

Beware!

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 109

You deserved it 3 829

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:35

Your pussy is out of control.

flockz 19

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:47

sorry i hate beiing the grammar nazi but *onslaught

Comments

angryoriental 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:40

should put it down, by that I mean kill it

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:43

What the hell is wrong with you? That wasn't funny in any possible way, you ought to put yourself down, and by that I mean, kill yourself.

flockz 19

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:41

sounds like one irritated pussy huh?

HippyKat13 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:42

#10, i am sorry that i offended you so greatly by belaying my post, and besides i dont care if im first anyway, just have ffun, jesh :)

TroIlsFTW 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:42

Kill the cat, buy a pug :P

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:44

Cats are awesome! =^_^=

User1518 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 8:38

Cats rock! I agree, by the way, I love your username/picture!!! (Avenged Sevenfold kicks ass!)

poopehdoo 9

Thursday 1 September 2016 2:12

A7x foREVer m/

HippyKat13 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:44

i was first....

TroIlsFTW 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:47

Mods FTW

Zombieslayer1 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:52

There doesn't need to be an onslaught of pussy jokes, we can talk about that one kid who wants to be a nun instead.

Zombieslayer1 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:54

I don't know how this happened, but this post was for #2. Sorry guys, I ****** up:

Cegal 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:46

try not having your face close enough to claw, domesticated doesn't mean calm.

rebekahah 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:47

you'll think again next time you wanna look at him funny.

salvorican 24

Sunday 12 June 2011 3:45

They're funny when their on catnip for sure :)

panda_chick 2

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:47

maybe she thought you were trying to challenge her??

smallory42 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 2:49

did you have tuna for lunch?

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You deserved it 132

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You deserved it 706

The Top

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You deserved it 1 335

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I agree, your life sucks 47 004

You deserved it 5 539

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I agree, your life sucks 32 134

You deserved it 2 670

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I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 385

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I agree, your life sucks 58 235

You deserved it 5 554

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 324

You deserved it 4 218

Same thing different taste

Rocky VIX

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

Jackson Galaxy moment

That's the power of love

Beware!

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