Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
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Top comments
MutatedPie 0
knee her in the ****** and falcon punch her face then
FYLDeep 25
You're gonna have to Chris Brown that bitch.
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Comments (138)
momo1972 3
just tell her you lost a contact and was looking for it
oliver86 8
if that happened to me I would see the funny side unless I got arrested
derpherp 0
Get back at your coworker, like send pictures of him to your boss with sexual messages, and of course! Secretly >.>
you_freak 7
The coworker is a she
FMlbeast1 0
Exactly
Perksofbeingawal 0
If somebody grabbed mine, I'd literally b*tch slap then untill their face is numb, and after that I would proudly rip his balls off.
starile 19
Um, are you boobs made of gold or something? Do they spring forth the fountain of youth?
mne_pinay 0
Foshoo
Perksofbeingawal 0
LOOOL, that was actually funny. :P and no! but it's called f*cking respect. you don't ever lay a finger on a girl without approval. that could pass as sexual abuse...
anon_e_m00se 8
Maybe you should re-read the OP's story. He didn't touch the girl, the female coworker did. So, by saying you'd do the same thing as the teen, only more so, you're basically saying you're ok with beating the crap out of innocent bystanders. So, go ahead, do that ... but why wait for some random third person to grab your ****, go ahead and show the world what kind of person you are and just randomly beat the crap out of people who don't deserve it.
fthku 13
What is wrong with the OP? What's wrong with YOU? TypiNg liek dis.
Sheepiebeepie 26
No but they are a part of her body no one has a right to grab without permission
hideyoself 4
Here's what you gotta do: 1. retrieve the teen and seduce her 2. ignore the female coworker forever 3. marry the teen and invite the whole workplace except the relentless bitch 4. live a happy life, but seduce the relentless bitch so she divorces her spous 5. after she gets divorced, tell her she sucks and dick slap her 6. glow in a dark shade of victory
twiddles1989 0
7. profitz?
dillpickles526 0
step 1. **** slap the bitch step 2. ??????????????? Step 3 PROFITS :D
Frostyking 0
south park refrence win :D
DocBastard 38
Sexual harassment by proxy?
wriptidez 0
shameful
mrpager 0
When I say "law" you say "suit" "LAW" "SUIT" "LAW" "SUIT" what's the spell? An extreme dickk move
122409 0
someone should sue YOU for having hideous tribal tattoos. does it make you feel good to look like you should be dancing around a campfire 24/7?
babyshelton09 0
I bet it makes him feel just as good to have that tribal work as it makes u feel to be a trick and try to make fun of someones pic when ur is a ****** ass cross or watever it is. before u try to burn someone, make sure ur own fire is out **** stain.
BlahLand 0
WIN ^^^
taniaaaaa 0
Wowwww, Your co-worker is an ass. :( I hope you punched him in the face after you got out of the elevator. Oh! And BTW: HAPPY NEW YEAR :)
Trace01m 11
I think getting you a knee in the testicles should earn your coworker a head smashed into the wall..
rolls_royce 0
lower your coworker through a wood chipper slowly feet first, it's very relaxing and fun. besides scum that does that dosent deserve to exist.