Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
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Top comments
kezziemonster 2
Why didn't you move?
oj101 33
Troll grandma strikes at it again.
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Comments (53)
Dallyni 22
Get up and move away from her
HeadlessSparrow 20
For each fart, you should have put a number from 1-10 on a piece of paper and hold it up in the air!
timakinz 21
Tfeh
rg350dx 29
The ****...?
dRUMsKELETON 12
It's always the sweet old innocent-looking lady... You should have moved across the room to see if she'd try to find another target to blame for her noxious flatulence.
alycion 38
These sweet, old, innocent looking prunes are causing enough of havoc around the world that the site should consider giving them their own category.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I swear that when I grow old I'm going to pull stuff like this.
processengineer 9
fart back at her.
tararochelle 18
That's when you get up and move. No way I'd sit there for an hour. I'd rather stand.
disney_blonde 16
So MOVE.
chuckcloninger 12
I'm assuming you have legs?
brendejafulable 41
It wasn't me! ;3