Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
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Top comments
Silhouette_fml 0
Hey, he was sitting in the couch, right? So he was just proving your point.
spankyness 0
How dare you say small things are for small people... ...and then he bought the couch
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Comments (140)
musu_fml 0
Little person is more acceptable than midget simply because it identifies them as a person with a describing adjective, rather than a different word entirely that'd suggest they are something seperate from a person; "He is a person, but she is a midget". Likewise, it's black people, not blacks. White people, not whites. Gay people, not gays. Straight people, not straights. You'll find that pretty much any descripting word that calls a person something other than a person, based on something about them, will likely end up being offensive. I am not "a gay". Being gay isn't what I am; a person is what I am. Being gay is just part of what I am, and you can go with "gay person" if you need to be specific. Does that make sense? Because, after all, we don't call people who can't see "blinds" do we?
Bakergirl 0
hil-*******-larious this was the funniest thing i have ever read!
Logica42 0
#9... why the hell would anyone look around to make sure there wasn't a midget anywhere nearby before saying something that isn't even that offensive towards midgets (unless taken to be as such) ANYWAYS? And towards #87, yes. Along the same lines, it's pretty silly to get offended when someone describes you with such a term. If it's an identifying feature, it's fair and square and there's no harm or foul unless there was malicious or offensive intent behind it, which is usually fairly obvious being that it'll carry things such as a certain tone/expression, and what you suggested; "blacks" over "black people". "Gays" over "gay people". For instance, when my mother and I were in a store and I was trying on a prom dress, I asked her if there was anyone around because I absolutely hate long dresses (they feel funny) and was only doing it for a deal (she wanted to see me in the prom dress... I wasn't going to be attending a prom anytime soon, or at all) ...she said the only one there was a young black lady who'd gone into the other stall. Said black lady got offended, asking if it couldn't have just been "young lady" in general, and stormed out. To me and my mother, who are descriptive people and hate just saying "that person over by that thing", that made about as much sense as a redhead getting offended because we called her a redheaded lady, or a curly-haired teen getting offended because we said he/she was a curly-haired kid. Definitive features that set you apart from the majority should really be appreciated (if not unimportant to you anyways), at that, like someone saying I was REALLY pale or small(/short). Or, yes, bi. And on that note, I don't think he was really that upset with you, OP. If he was, he shouldn't have been, as if nothing else it was something akin to a Freudian slip at its finest. Even though, yes, you did add a slightly "insulting" flavor, you only did so to express your distaste in the furniture. It is quite hilarious that of all the things you could say to all the people who could possibly be slightly snubbed by it, you would wind up with "midget", though... I'm not really voting on this one. =/
afj67 0
i really hope you apologized and will be a little more sensitive from now on.
calmthefuck_down 0
ahahahahahaha
Mephistopholes 0
He probably knows he's a midget.
anon2_fml 0
Thank you #74 and #87. I agree. Why do we have to label eachother. I understand that some people are obviously different, but why do we have to tell each other. Just let it go. We are all human, so treat us that way.
condescending 0
hahahahahahahahahahahaha i woulda been like: "see?"
ful_fml 0
No, come on! Really? What are the odds?
tyder21 0
*sigh* Anyone who said that you deserved that one is pretty dumb if you ask me.