Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML
Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
Wow your fault
ily_hun996 0
You never, EVER say, "Thank you for not checking in on me."
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Comments (188)
picante72 24
The precursor to Project X.
k_mcmath 3
it's true. leaving you alone was a test. to see if she could trust you and to see if you could keep anything you might do a secret. you failed
chuckiecheezit 3
That was the stupidest thing to ever do
dabears1011234 27
Well someone deserved it.
willowgrl 8
You're and idiot
ansam_fml 6
Yea. That's all on you
LikeLegitness 21
Congtadulations you played yourself
sharond23 10
you are not a bright child