Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML
Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Today, I was skipping with my mother, when all of a sudden she kneed me in the face and burst my lip open. Instead of helping me she took out her phone and sent this to fmylife. FML.
Soniclover3 0
yes, i bet she scratchea herself all the time
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Comments (70)
his_girl808 0
STUPID u are a grrown man skipping ? i would kill myself if u was my dad!!:/
Tomaino 3
Who says it's a man? It could be a woman? And I think it's great that a parent is willing to be that carefree with their child. It's important to encourage a child to be a child, not force them to grow up too fast.
FMLDestroyer 0
Um, 31, I would rephrase that. It sounds as though you just asked dude for a ******* and confirmation that you came.
Boy_Flow 0
lol thats exactly what i was thinking
CyclonePsycho 1
I'm pretty sure that's the point.
Stevenopolis 0
Just how many English speaking posters can there be in Calais??? I call fake.
stella23 0
Are you aware that quite a few people from non-English speaking countries all around the world speak English as a second language? In fact, 1 out of every 5 people can speak English to some degree. Language translators are all over the internet for those who may need, for example, to turn their native French into coherant English. Maybe you should read a newspaper and learn something instead of spending your time posting ignorant comments on the internet.
blastvortex 4
Like the three-legged race, hand-held skipping really doesn't work unless you're around the same age. But meh, accidents happen. It's not like you both won't be able to move on eventually.
NewJoisey 0
if the daughter wanted to skip, the daughter obviously started before her and got infront of her. she looked back to see if her mom was skipping with her, and bam! right in the kisser. so to all you idiots incapable of reading, I show pity on you.
NewJoisey 0
Sorry to break it to you, its you're not youre. Grammar Nazi on patrol. Learn perfect grammar before trying to insult me. Have a nice day, kid!
Boy_Flow 0
wow...i guess this is how battle of the geeks is...who woulda guessed it was so intense?? =/
livingdeadgirl9 0
I see how it could happen. If its a younger kid that is. And if that's the case, then most kids respond pretty well to the parents joking it off. When my brother used to hurt his leg or arm, we always used to joke with him and ask him if he wanted to see the doctor or if he broke the floor when he fell. If you don't make a big deal out of it, then they start to think it isn't such a big deal either. It'll be alright. Kids move on. :]
daneeyoll 0
I can almost see it happening
starlitgrl 0
hahaha smart move man. I bet she'll tell her kids one day how her dad "accidently" busted up her lip. way to go man, you're like the dad every kid dreams of having.
birdsfly01 0
Holy shit snickerdoodkes bugs the hell outta me. For some reason she's soo annoying. Ha anyways.. this Is hilarious, made my day!! ;P