Kids: Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to...

jazz 22 January 2010, 08:11 France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

70 comments

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Same thing different taste

ddhaley1 This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Edmond, United States

Sorry sweetie

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

36 comments

Stan 29 August 2011, 21:19 United States

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

61 comments

gbabyy 22 November 2009, 03:25 United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

108 comments

clutzymama 10 July 2015, 04:27 Woodbridge, Canada

Great parenting

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

73 comments

SkinsCastSelection 17 January 2011, 22:50 France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

170 comments

julian 29 September 2018, 14:00

Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML

20 comments

cheerymama 23 January 2012, 00:49 United States

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

74 comments

soomeone 16 February 2010, 19:28 United States

Romantic move

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

218 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Joe Smooth move

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

137 comments

mandy 10 April 2009, 15:35 United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

191 comments

FernandoTorres_fml 0

22 January 2010, 20:08

Today, I was skipping with my mother, when all of a sudden she kneed me in the face and burst my lip open. Instead of helping me she took out her phone and sent this to fmylife. FML.