Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop...

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 056

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 699

You deserved it 41 171

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 17 360

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 919

You deserved it 60 306

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 777

You deserved it 71 641

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 148

You deserved it 36 015

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 231

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 355

You deserved it 1 051

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 160

You deserved it 111 387

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 15 143

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 893

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

hypuuurness 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 6:29

I agree!

Lintu_26 23

Saturday 13 August 2011 22:41

YDI...for smoking..

neongurl98 10

Saturday 20 August 2011 10:12

Yeah smoking sure is cool

mrsbieber23 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:50

Which one did u lick? The cancer stick

sugoi72 27

Sunday 1 November 2015 19:59

bacon causes cancer so don't eat it

phoque_fml 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:14

The lollipop obviously! You don't lick cigarettes ;) haha

kmyers 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 21:33

That's what you get for smoking..

CallMeMoMo 0

Friday 6 January 2012 13:43

Are you trying to tell me that you hold ur cig in lollipop position?? ... Douche

smileycupcake62 4

Saturday 14 January 2012 4:05

the lollipop of course! It would be just silly to lick a lit cigarette! lol

JoseLopez31 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 6:47

YDI for smoking

swampbaby985 30

Tuesday 12 June 2012 17:32

Smokers are jokers

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The Top

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 016

You deserved it 8 067

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 169

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 866

You deserved it 36 655

Today, my thighs started chafing 3 hours before the end of my work shift. Now they burn no matter what I do. I still have an 8-hour shift tomorrow and I can barely walk. To make it worse, my mom's only words of advice involved me losing weight so it "doesn't happen again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 648

You deserved it 907

Today, while we're on vacation, my 6 year-old son barged in the bathroom as I was changing my tampon. He was horrified and kept screaming, asking why I “pulled a blood rat out of my butt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 247

Today, I had to stand in line for twenty minutes at the bank, in between two of my ex-boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 505

You deserved it 11 393