Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop...

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 206

You deserved it 141 074

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 41 178

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 733

You deserved it 17 364

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 60 319

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 777

You deserved it 71 663

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 36 017

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 241

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 363

You deserved it 1 055

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 111 401

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 621

You deserved it 15 148

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 813

You deserved it 53 908

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

hypuuurness 6

Thursday 11 August 2011 6:29

I agree!

Lintu_26 23

Saturday 13 August 2011 22:41

YDI...for smoking..

neongurl98 10

Saturday 20 August 2011 10:12

Yeah smoking sure is cool

mrsbieber23 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:50

Which one did u lick? The cancer stick

sugoi72 27

Sunday 1 November 2015 19:59

bacon causes cancer so don't eat it

phoque_fml 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:14

The lollipop obviously! You don't lick cigarettes ;) haha

kmyers 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 21:33

That's what you get for smoking..

CallMeMoMo 0

Friday 6 January 2012 13:43

Are you trying to tell me that you hold ur cig in lollipop position?? ... Douche

smileycupcake62 4

Saturday 14 January 2012 4:05

the lollipop of course! It would be just silly to lick a lit cigarette! lol

JoseLopez31 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 6:47

YDI for smoking

swampbaby985 30

Tuesday 12 June 2012 17:32

Smokers are jokers

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The Top

Today, I saw my boyfriend wiping his nose with his hand and then using the snot to gel back his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 5 073

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 427

You deserved it 61 027

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 885

You deserved it 13 762

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 459

You deserved it 347

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 184

Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 711