Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML
Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML
Today, due to being stressed and overwhelmed by my tasks, I made a mistake and completed a few of my colleagues' tasks as well. When I informed my boss about it, he said that I did an outstanding job, but I shouldn't have messed with other people's documents. As a result, my promised raise is cancelled. FML
Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML
Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML
Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
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Top comments
Shjohn 3
Dude talk to your boss quick to make sure he doesnt get the credit
MrColbyCheese 10
Way to go!
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Comments (39)
mixedupminx 8
I'm sure you can prove and rectify it! Next time, check, check, double-check!
mikethekid 9
better to measure twice and cut once than to measure once and cut twice
mattyiscool123 26
His does that work?
moocowmilk0 19
H O w
bstrung 2
"it was going so well" so your plan to get someone fired?
Colon_Man 17
He would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those darn kids and their dog! Also, a slippery finger.
lilithfury 23
Let yer boss know that you messed up the sale so that the asshat doesn't get credit.
caliguy08 17
Attention to detail....
mlustpdx 17
moron
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How in the world could that possibly happen? Some sort of weird system where anyone can put something on anyone else's profile? Watch what you're doing! YDI
nosycunt 5
sorry OP. I definitely chuckled.