Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML
Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
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Top comments
ccathleen_ 0
You have a bitchy girlfriend.
flyintonite 0
This happened to me... but with best friends instead. Advice to all men if you are going to date a woman KNOW her inner circle inside and out. All her friends names who their friends with etc, a little excessive but trust me it saves a lot of headaches.
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Comments (94)
blastvortex 4
And what do you expect when, unwittedly or not, you paint a bullseye on yourself?
BeeSkwaird 0
Kicking a guy's crotch is like stabbing a woman in the stomach. It's not just temporarily painful! Maybe (maaayyyybe) the OP deserved a slap, depending how he treated the sister when they were together. But nothing more severe than that.
xXxkatrinaxXx 0
YDI!! wtf! you remember who you dated but you can't remember that its the same house from your last gf?? wow.. id kick you in the crotch too!
flashback.miss 28
sue her for assault. that was not anywhere grounds for that action.. I gots to get that Just can't resist that My sister's girlfriend So dope, I know I shouldn't do it But her girlfirend Got me bout twisted Shortie you're so gifted No joke, so tempted to get it (Verse 1) I never seen her before Cuz on the normal I wouldn't holla But this girl was so dope (soo dope) But my sister said no (Nooo) I didn't care what she said Cuz I knew that If I had a chance I was gonna get with this chick Cuz I could not help it (Hook) (I know you're real cool friends) Girl I know that I want you (I never act like this) This is something I must do (Cuz I can't resist) Don't listen to my sister say (I wanna know what you're about) yeah (Please can we spend) A moment or two girl (So you can fill me in) With You (We can start this weekend) Let me do what I do with you (Chorus) I gots to get that Just can't resist that My sister's girlfriend So dope, I know I shouldn't do it But her girlfirend Got me bout twisted Shortie you're so gifted No joke, so tempted to get it (Verse 2) I said now, now Now I put myself out there I need to know exactly where Your mind is And if you're thinkin like I'm thinkin Cuz I'm thinkin like if we're alone Just once behind closed doors I know it really would be on (Hook) (I know you're real cool friends) Girl I know that I want you (I never act like this) I really really need you (Cuz I can't resist) yeah (I wanna know what you're about) yeah yeah (Please can we spend) A moment of two yeah (So you can fill me in) With You (We can start this weekend) Forget this weekend, we can do it now (Chorus) I gots to get that Just can't resist that (yeah yeah) My sister's girlfriend (my sister's girl) So dope, I know I shouldn't do it) (i know i shouldn't) But her girlfirend ( but I can't denigh it) Got me bout twisted ( girls just so fine it's crazy) Shortie you're so gifted (oooh yeah) No joke, so tempted to get it (B-Section) I can see it in your face That you're really likin me But it's that not the time to say Cuz my sister's in your face So if you wanna move (move) Just hit me on my two (hit me on my two) Cuz I'll be there (there) when you call me (call me) Cuz girl I'm feelin you (you uh) (Chorus 2x) I gots to get that Just can't resist that My sister's girlfriend (sister's girl) So dope, I know I should do it(let met tell you bout this girl) (her body was bangin to deaf) But my girlfirend Got me bout twisted(she got me twisted) Shortie you're so gifted(ooh yeah) No joke, so tempted to get it Oooh uh oooh uh Can't resist it yeah Sister girl I normally wouldn't holla but i gotta She had little prada Oooh hoo ooh yeah Yeaah um ha come on Yeaah uh Frenge uh SG
Gavik 0
Nigga wut?
Lia_Mackenzie 4
I concur. What the **** kind of bullshit babble was that?
swhockey02 0
that is a terrible song btw
DynamicDave 11
Does anyone remember the user "i_reply_with_lyics"? This reminded me of him.
rttr 18
What happened to him? I liked him. He was cool.
strawberryspacejam 11
**** charges. Straight attack with bare hands. Damaging a guy's dignity.
Lisianthus 13
Lmao. Yeah you tell'em I think its messed up when a girl hits a mans "sensitive" spot. If you can't think of any better way of getting back at a man you kinda pathetic.
Emperor_Jim 0
If I found out a girl I was dating had dated my brother, I'd punch her in the face. OH WAIT, that's domestic abuse.
BritishHobo 0
Why? I'm confused why you'd do that and why the OP's girlfriend would do that. Unless he was a horrible abusive boyfriend that the girl had had to listen to her sister cry about, but if she had, she would have known who he was and probably wouldn't have dated him.
quinnteh 0
I think he's taking a shot at the legal system that says it's okay for women to hit men but not the other way around.
Veritas143 0
Thank you quinteth..im not sure why sarcasm is lost on so many people.. and I agree..also girls should never hit a guy in the nuts unless it's to protect them or someone else..don't do something to someone else that can't be done to you.
Retillias 0
That would be uncalled for, unless it was at the end of an argument. As in, if you stand up to a foot in your balls, and have no idea why until after, THAT is unfair. Maybe it was something the guy said in reply to that, like "She's just as hot as you"....
itouchguy360 3
wait a minute! You didn't know your girlfriends/ dates last name? Isn't that the first thing you ask? And if they have different last names, wouldn't one of the first things you talk about be your family?
Tigg3r 3
this is why I'm glad I don't have a sister.
powersticks 16
Dump the bitch. Unless you are about to rape, kill, or severelt hurt someone a man should never be hit in the balls. If me can't hit women, why can women hit men in the balls?