Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)
TheTigerRoars 0
Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger
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Comments (234)
TibbysMusic 1
That's exactly what I thought!
Awixis 0
F your life even though ydi
Joshbnuss 0
Who closes their eyes...
skorpien 1
100, sometimes the FML mods make changes to an FML's wording if it contains grammatical errors. Just because what you read was correct, that doesn't mean it was always correct.
tdub10 2
I say keep up da good wrk. I mean after all u must be good at givin head if u got him 2 close his eyes. Lol
zman1422 3
so it was a two pole crash right
mbouf 0
I'm laughing that so many ppl have commented saying why would she give road head. really? I've done it to my boyfriend. But not to completion while driving, thats the problem. also, why would he close his eyes... idiot. and how did u manage to not bite his penis during the accident?!
Emilyinroom483 7
Good for you, distracting someone who is controlling a few tons of metal moving at an extremely high velocity is a GREAT idea. I'm thrilled that you haven't gotten killed yet and may one day reproduce, the thought gives me hope.
indivisualsoul 0
me too!!
_GODZILLA_ 0
You suck. Literally. Please don't breed.
minty1807 9
retard o_O