Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)
TheTigerRoars 0
Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger
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Comments (234)
SelectStart 0
1man1jar.com
defferwa 9
is his dick okay?!
IronZombie 0
dude sucks at driving. a real man knows how to handle his road head and alcohol
Griggy 0
I'm moving to Michigan...
rique_fml 0
that sucks but it is sad too
hobosareawesome 0
That is just nasty to do in your fathers car. Just sayin'
klynhunter 0
awe, will your girlfriend not give you a little road head?
truehitman2010 0
I bet the windows are coverd with cum
ThickHead 0
idk what whiplash even is xD
chetchatter 5
YFDI u dumbslut