Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)
TheTigerRoars 0
Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger
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Comments (234)
maddehsaurr 0
i do that all the time. how te hell did you break your collarbone?
manumons 8
why the hell would he close his eyes what an idiot
sexaddict89167 0
I have done that but not crashed ... It was a seven hour drive so I wanted to please him It ended up in getting a cab and fuckinf in the back lol
IvyStar 0
Why the **** wouldn't you just wait till later?
newburton13 26
That's illegal in America, believe it or not.
CallMeBloo 31
Wow, that's....that's so incredibly stupid and selfish. You could have waited until you got somewhere, or pulled over, but nooooo, Speashul Horny Snowflake chose to endanger dozens of peoples' lives! Be glad this is all the punishment you're getting. It could have easily been vehicular manslaughter.
CRAZYx2 7
YDI for being stupid enough to do that :1
issiackemp 9
Did u bite outta instinct? I gotta know lol
how_to_implode 17
You're a moron. I really hope you learned your lesson.
CraZedMadMan 16
What's a road head?