Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed in my eye. I now need surgery and have to explain to my family how I almost lost my eye. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
I bet your throat hurts from crashing into his pole ;)
TheTigerRoars 0
Well, that you kind of deserve. I don't see why you humans even drive cars, they are so dangerous. -Fluffy McTiger
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Comments (234)
ISlangWang 7
"Road head" takes place on the side of the road, play it safe next time
ABitOfAMess 8
You could have waited to be home for that. You kind of deserve it. :/
WarriorOmen 25
Road head is supposed to be given in a PARKED car. Lesson learned?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Before I joined FML, I didn't think there were people this stupid in the world. Ever since I joined, I've seen the world differently.
fantasyworld 39
Why would you distract him while he was driving?
user716 11
Why did you perform fellatio in a moving car. Pull over for that.
Kaylana_fml 31
You could have killed someone or yourselves. I have to drive on the same roads as idiots like you, and yet you get to keep your licenses. That's F everyone else's life, not FYL.
Bethany Myers 7
You're both ******* stupid
InfiniteSecret 20
You 1000000% deserved this ???