Intimacy: Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's...

By betterthanhodor - 08/11/2014 14:09 - United Kingdom - Woodbridge

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 994

You deserved it 4 275

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 181

By eww657 - 16/12/2009 15:43 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 332

You deserved it 3 877

By anonymous - 24/04/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 098

You deserved it 9 492

Bad timing

By Horneyandbleeding - 23/11/2020 07:01 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 486

Bad timing

By Anna - 20/12/2020 05:02

Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 66

By Rrae - 25/02/2019 02:00

Today, I'm at the ER for my first ever UTI and potential other "down there" issues. Yesterday I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 254

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 653

You deserved it 10 748

I mean, technically you can still do it…

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 00:30

Today, I had been looking forward to sex all day, got home, got my husband's engine running, got naked on top of him, violently sneezed at his new aftershave, and started my period all over his balls. We were centimetres away from sex and now have to wait 3 to 7 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 427

Special day

By buymeadrank - 30/04/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, it's my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears, and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 614

You deserved it 9 292

By SadOldBag - 23/08/2018 21:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 207

You deserved it 231

Rawrshi 25

Saturday 8 November 2014 18:29

Bloody hell.

hard_candy 25

Saturday 8 November 2014 18:32

pain relieving pills, check. postponed sexy time, check check check.

Comments

jdcg116 10

Saturday 8 November 2014 22:08

Lol. Just saw #12's response. Awesome.

_Peppermint_ 34

Saturday 8 November 2014 22:35

****** actually help period cramps. If you or your boyfriend don't mind getting a little messy, it shouldn't be a problem.

Emmamazing 26

Saturday 8 November 2014 22:50

I voted yes for this in moderation! Made a good choice

ChildrenOfFilth 12

Saturday 8 November 2014 23:25

Where will YOU be when red hits you?

i_needa_username 17

Saturday 8 November 2014 23:32

That's some bloody hell right there sorry for you!!

mxgirl1998 26

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:08

wow that really sucks, sorry op. hopes that gets better soon

kramona 17

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:12

That's awful! Periods always make for a disappointing time..well for me anyway. Sorry for you op!

manga_fml 15

Sunday 9 November 2014 0:53

this happens to me all the time. its like it knows when you are looking forward to something!

patrickeli 15

Sunday 9 November 2014 1:45

My *

poirot_fml 13

Sunday 9 November 2014 1:58

There's always a ******** :/

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Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 143

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 855

You deserved it 2 956

Today, I had my husband’s family over. Our adopted 4 year-old daughter drew a cute card and gave it to me saying, "Happy Mother’s Day mommy! I love you." My mother-in-law scoffed, "She’s infertile and not even your real mom, but ok." Now our daughter won’t stop asking all sorts of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 84

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 497

You deserved it 62 849

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 532

You deserved it 3 002

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 9 827

Same thing different taste

Help! I need somebody!

Bad timing

Bad timing

It's the thought that counts

I mean, technically you can still do it…

Special day

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