Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Despereaux 15
But why wouldn't you just toss it down onto the floor near your dog?
IchigoDeathGod 14
Hopefully your mother understands! Wish you luck, cause we all know how scary mothers can be at times.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (41)
chinaski7628 32
You really shouldn't feed your dog fish unless you've deboned it. They easily can choke on the bones. This has been your public service message for the day :)
EvilTurtle 35
Use a deboner
DoomedGemini 38
Good advice for everyone, though I'm sure since op said a large piece that it didn't have bones in it. But to add, I've read many times cooked bones of any type have potential to be dangerous because they splinter easily. So be careful!
WOTAN1488 24
You shouldn't feed the dog at the table.
Zarcissa 34
#14: This. Our dog is taught that her place isn't in the kitchen when someone's eating.
helveeta 11
She shouldn't feed the dog human food either. What slob throws fish across the house? Sounds like a pig sty house, gross!
hamiltonma 22
I can't imagine why you were throwing fish around that house haha but picturing the situation is hilarious!
zeffra13 31
YDI for encouraging your dog to scratch you to get food, & for not looking where you're throwing.
worldclassrager 41
Were you having flying fish?
LaLince 40
Giving your dog something to eat from the table during your meal is the wrongest way to educate it. It will never stop asking and bothering you. YDI
itsme82 18
So what did your mom do? I laughed so hard at the picture this put in my head.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
This needs to be illustrated!
pete9913 23
Your dog was bothering you, because you feed it from the table when he does. YDI.
Model_Type_Chick 6
LMAO