Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was OK. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 9
Your death is affecting his GPA be kind and just die quietly... Library style
almost34 4
Choke him
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Comments (126)
YourLifeSucks132 3
Sounds like you have a drinking problem
ICATiger 13
No I don't god damit!! Now where's my brandy!!!!
Savra_fml 17
Bruce Lee said “Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes..." You know what OP, **** it. Just punch the **** in the nose.
patzz12 0
Wow he's a fagget
cradle6 13
If you can make sound you aren't choking.
patzz12 0
He's seems like a charming young man
LunaDragon 10
While you should have heimlich yourself in his direction and spit up all over him.
MisterMan795 4
you should have punched him out
GoW_Chick 15
"mama said, I'm gonna knock you out!" I don't know why that popped in my head when I read your post, I'll just go now..
GoW_Chick 15
Well you should of stopped making so much damn noise, and he wouldn't have had to tell you to shut up, I mean come on how rude could you get.
toxicpinkcandy 10
Wow. Anyone on FML ever heard of Comedic Sarcasm. Dummies. I got yo back girl. Thought it was funny as hell (:
jackrileymac 4
People are bitches.
A100893 30
No respect. I'm guessing you're okay now. Should've dumped the water bottle over him.