Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML
Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML
Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML
Today, my ambulance got called out for a "stomach pain" patient. Upon assessment, the guy really did have stomach pain. His colostomy bag fell off a week ago, so to stop the crap from falling out, he duct taped it shut. It exploded when I helped him up. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML
Today, a colostomy bag exploded on me while I was waiting in line at the pharmacy. Yesterday, my shoes were peed on by a child while I was at work. FML
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Top comments
um_duh 0
What a shitty day eh?
lololol111 0
11 and 12, psychology is a completely different field then psychiatry
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Comments (130)
BBkid 0
F ur life indeed that is terrible. You should have thrown it back at her
lolmonster 0
Hahah u got shitfaced !!
Fontario4 2
You're that educated that you're a psychiatrist, but you don't know that it's colostomy not colonostomy?
chris231997 0
I sort of agree with
daniisme 0
u belong there as much as the chick.
amerrah 4
Most Americans do. Well the ones that curse. OP, Shit Happens.
sokroker13_fml 0
lol tht sucks
whitecloud197 0
hahaha gross.
sannamm 5
I can't believe no one said this yet: you got shit faced :p
NoRegrets187 0
Colostomy bag* Colonostomy is the surgery to get the bag. You should probably know that. just sayin
shawnagreenbean1 9
Nah, the surgery itself is still called a colostomy.