Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
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Top comments
Brannie 4
It's not like if it was gonna yell "get over here!" and spear you back to him if you tried to make a run for it.
MURIKKA 11
At least you weren't taking a shit.... That would've REALLY sucked
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Comments (167)
vhivfe 3
OMG I totally would have done the same!
stormchaser24 24
Well, at least your you did not use a 9mm to kill it.
jcbinglis 7
I would have gotten the 12 gauge out. Forget 9mm. I hate bugs more than anything.
alohalili 0
Oh my gishhh I wouldn't done the same thing ! Crying the whole time though ugh it gives me the chills :/
purpledrizzle 5
Take lessons from another FMLer's dad, OP, shoot it with a 9mm!
dewdotcom 1
I'd be more afraid to spend an hour in the bathroom.
boylover1617 0
Oh my I'd run out or figure out how to kill it
greenmen 12
Grow up! It's not even bigger than ur hand. You can scare them off with water
flutter4 7
I know how you feel. I got stung by a scorpion in the shower. It hurt like hell.
wonderfullyodd 2
One stung me while i was laying in bed...i hate those stupid things
andromeda335 9
I know the feeling OP! That happened to me one with a vent full of earwigs
rcgirl2 11
In the words of smokey from Scary Movie,"RUN BITCH RUN!"
broim13calm_down 8
who's Smokey ? unless you mean Shorty.
rcgirl2 11
Yeah I met Shorty thanks. I know that he smokes A LOT so I kinda got confused a bit.