Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
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Top comments
Brannie 4
It's not like if it was gonna yell "get over here!" and spear you back to him if you tried to make a run for it.
MURIKKA 11
At least you weren't taking a shit.... That would've REALLY sucked
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Comments (167)
Candace7 19
It was a big one though so even if it stung you, you wouldn't die.
Masift 21
as Indian jones said, the bigger the better
trumpy 9
your logic is stupid...the longer you stand under it the higher the chance it will fall on you
becca9985 34
I've been terrified of scorpions ever since I saw the movie The Arrival. I almost had a small panic attack when I read this FML. I'm lucky to live in an area that doesn't really have scorpions...except behind glass in pet stores. However, I did grow up in an area where encountering scorpions outdoors in the wild was common, but I was super lucky to never have had that happen to me. I feel for you!
becca9985 34
And, for everyone saying he/she was stupid for standing under the vent and not moving for an hour, how do you know the vent wasn't right by the door? Maybe he/she retreated away from the scorpion and vent which just put them further into the bathroom. Until you know the layout of the bathroom, you can't really judge.
hman1025 17
Austr-OH SHIT USA?!