Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my building installed a fingerprint scanner for the front door. Feeling futuristic, I pressed my thumb to unlock it while carrying groceries. The scanner rejected me five times in a row because I’d cut my thumb slicing bagels earlier that day. A neighbor watched me fail repeatedly before asking, “Do you actually live here?” FML
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML
Today, I found out what sound a hammer makes when it strikes the back of my hand. FML
Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store where this really cute guy works. I swiped my card but the machine wouldn't read it. I swiped it quickly some more before getting frustrated and saying, "Your stupid machine doesn't work!" He took the card and turned it around. His face said it all. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. By a fish hook. FML
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Top comments
scott1494 0
haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!! Talk about being a tool!!!!!
Tucatz 0
Could be worse- at the grocery store you might be a $0.69 can of green beans. And at the drugstore you could be Preparation H. In fact, that should be your new goal- to go around and find out what you are at various stores.
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Comments (407)
abu3mair 0
people who take a story like this seriously piss me off. It's clearly a joke. Stop analysing it.
collegeshmollege 0
find something better to tattoo on yourself next time.
blairf83 0
You're lucky you cost that much if you're a big enough dork to have a barcode tattooed on you....
HomeDepotxLette 0
poster....whats the upc of your tattoo...? i work at home depot....today im going to find out the upc and sku of a $5.98 16oz claw hammer and ask the original poster what the upc of his tattoo is and see if they match....lol
It_Doesnt_Matter 0
uhm, yeah FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE!! srsly, as detailed as a new tattoo can be, it won't scan.
coggs 0
how is this even an FML??
whocaresnotme 0
nice, but how is ur life f***ed?
HomeDepotxLette 0
guess what....? yesterday at work, i did a search... alt + price inquiry #3 dpt 25 claw hammer.....gave me a list of every claw hammer every home depot has in their system....none for a 16 oz one at 5.98 kthx good try tho...
HomeDepotxLette 0
guess what...? today at work i checked into the system for a claw hammer....we have none at 16 oz at $5.98 at any home depots....sorry nice try tho
smarty_tarty01 0
that is NOT fml worthy. this isnt even real! i hate fake FML's especially stupid ones