Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
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Top comments
kenjiisown 1
Drown him.
schwancy 2
Tell his parents they owe you a new phone, and that their son is a little shit.
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Comments (199)
schwancy 2
Tell his parents they owe you a new phone, and that their son is a little shit.
starile 20
YES. I like this comment :)
mmmad 0
why don't u just eat a taco and forget about it!!???
kenjiisown 1
yeah forget about my drowning idea. eat a taco!
cristy91 33
This is why children should be kept in cages. Jk, that sucks though. Tell the parents what happened, maybe they'd be kind enough to buy you a new one.
nmsm 1
I wouldn't mind keeping the rascaly ones in cages...
RaeNeid21 0
....you didn't have time to do anything as you saw him run towards you!?!?
xStiina 0
wow... little kid has skills xD
littlexlion 4
Running out of the pool is dangerous! Too bad he didn't trip and fall. jk...I think?
brownhustla 0
get the family to buy u a better phone and slap that boy to teach him a leason my parents would have
happyk 0
Kids do the darndest things. Hopefully you won't have to pay for a new phone though.
skyeyez9 25
Hold his head underwater for 10 minutes. You wont get a new phone that way, but at least you will feel alot better.
Sweej 1
That would be murder... And then he'd go to prison... And then he'd get buttraped by a million other guys... And then he'd be depressed... And so he would not feel better.
rottentomatoes 7
what a prick.