Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ObsessedWithGays 7
One thing I've learned from this website is to never help elderly people pick up their groceries.
spikedrummer49 6
****** crazy old ladies... People are ridiculous these days
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
mas1995 12
I don't know why politics have to be brought into everything these days.
duckiegirl21 10
I'd rather be a helpful liberal bastard than a grumpy old grocery-nazi any day.
s0m3guy2010 21
I guess she didn't notice your "I Love Glenn Beck" shirt? I'm assuming that's the real FML.
mas1995 12
Sorry about the double post.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Well you should have stolen them. Then she would have known you were an good upstanding republican.
TazInYourPantz 13
Run now. Run fast.
dazany1 0
Wow
unknown_user5566 27
Kudos to you for trying. FML has certainly has given me the opinion not to mess with old people, regardless of your intentions. If you ever see her again, trip her and steal her groceries. When she gives you the inevitable "WTF" look, just tell her you're trying to stop your "Liberal bastard" shannigans. ;)
Axipiter 24
I'm gonna pistolwhip the next person who says "shenanigans".
olpally 33
SHENANIGANS!!! *gets pistol whipped* haha, super troopers! :D
perdix 31
In Soviet Russia, whip pistols you. *lowers sunglasses* YOLO! Call me, maybe.
itsharkley 8
Looks like someone's got an.. *anger issues* YAAAAAAHHHHHHUUuuhhh
outoftown 27
Careful, pardner, I got the drop on you: I like "shenanigans"
QueenSaru 28
Technically, #25 said 'shannigans'. >.>
br0ccoli 15
Aw, don't let it get you down, OP. Groceries are the equivalent of gold these days. **** this economy and the fact that groceries are both a luxury and a necessity. Old people are hit real hard.
jgriff79 23
Senile old people say damnedest things.