Intimacy, Sex and Underwear: Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband...

By Anonymous - 26/04/2019 18:00

Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 308

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 181

You deserved it 6 622

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 278

You deserved it 4 727

By anonymous - 03/06/2013 04:41 - United States - Banner Elk

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 923

You deserved it 18 291

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 220

You deserved it 7 759

By Anonymous - 19/11/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 156

You deserved it 6 460

By notinterested - 13/09/2011 10:11 - United States

Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 5 439

By dollybabe - 09/01/2010 21:20 - Ireland

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 674

You deserved it 11 685

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 323

You deserved it 13 802

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 913

You deserved it 7 671

Jumping to conclusions

By Anonymous - 08/03/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 693

You deserved it 3 557

jkjorn 15

Friday 26 April 2019 20:11

Poor sap didn't realize you had a different kind of plowing in mind.

Lily_Rain77 25

Friday 26 April 2019 19:14

That is a damn good husband right there, he offered to shovel the driveway.

Comments

Lily_Rain77 25

Friday 26 April 2019 19:14

That is a damn good husband right there, he offered to shovel the driveway.

jkjorn 15

Friday 26 April 2019 20:11

Poor sap didn't realize you had a different kind of plowing in mind.

Razell 13

Friday 26 April 2019 20:16

The solutions is to do this more often until he stops associating you-in-lingerie with you-asking-him-to-do-things-around-the-house. Break the operant conditioning!

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 26 April 2019 23:56

Ok, but maybe shoveling the snow is important? Maybe he wants to earn this special treat? Maybe he's just oblivious because he loves you for you and the special attire isn't necessary?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 27 April 2019 2:58

Tell him you want him to plow you.

Gubbon 17

Tuesday 30 April 2019 5:14

The joke has already been made.

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 27 April 2019 5:29

It seems that you trained him very well. “ ‘honey, look what is waiting for you after your chores’ “.

Mongo999 9

Saturday 27 April 2019 16:35

Probably thought he was at the WRONG house!! Tried his "Oh CRAP" emergency response.

Bubbilility 27

Sunday 28 April 2019 10:41

Was it a euphemism for something? Or maybe sarcasm?

Iamthebanzai22 20

Sunday 28 April 2019 11:54

I get the very distinct impression that there is much more to this story. It sounds to me like there may be some resentment from his side about being asked to do chores that make no sense. I have never seen snow, but shovelling a driveway BEFORE it snows sounds like a really stupid idea. As a man, one actually feels really insulted when a woman as sex to placate you. Almost like a dog that got tossed a bone to shut it up. I don't want to read too much into this, but maybe you guys need counselling so that sex becomes more natural. If you actually really wanted to fix your sex life, good for you. Keep trying, but do it honestly. Actually, great sex is usually the result of great emotional intimacy. Start talking and stop judging. Good luck to you!!

stormy0307 16

Sunday 28 April 2019 15:26

Snow is generally heavy. Most people in snowy areas, if shoveling and not snow blowing, will do it in stages if there is a lot of it or if it is predicted to snow again. I’ve even gone out and done it when it was actively snowing just so I wouldn’t have to move nearly as much snow at one time when it finishes snowing.