Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
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Top comments
ObsessedWithGays 7
One thing I've learned from this website is to never help elderly people pick up their groceries.
spikedrummer49 6
****** crazy old ladies... People are ridiculous these days
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Comments (107)
FarscapeSDC 9
I hate almost all old people for at least one of the following reasons 1) If you help them, they accuse you of being patronising 2) if you don't, they accuse you of being disrespectful 3) They're mostly racist/sexist/homophobic or have some other bigotry 4) They vehemently insist "Things were better in my day", no they bloody weren't. 5) They can get away with shit younger people would be as good as crucified for. 6) They insist the younger generations should pay for their healthcare, yet they constantly insist that we're all lazy, good-for-nothing drug-addicts. 7) They reject any progressive or forward thinking idea, because "That's not how we did it in my day" 8) They will attempt to share their 'wisdom' with younger people, even though it's mostly just bullshit that will make things worse. Did I miss anything?
aloha31 6
Since when do malls have grocery stores?
taya16 3
Da faq???
____Dubs____ 4
2 words: old people.
fantasyworld 39
This site has taught me to never help old people.
Willow DeSpain 10
what mall has groceries in it.