Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to give him some moral support as he came out of the closet to his family. I left with a black eye. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I accidentally gave myself a black eye. I would laugh about it if my friends didn't start suspecting that my husband is abusing me, and won't listen when I try to explain what really happened. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
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Top comments
Good_old_Grim 8
There is no such thing as a "man ass slap". Its called the "gay ass slap".
schnoid 0
you shouldn't be giving any guy a butt slap.
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Comments (109)
nhormuss 17
Lol this is so funny
BlackAfrican64 13
Always know you friends and never fag slap
RebeccaRFT 18
I love how you felt the need to put 'man/manly' in the as if to say "EVEN THOUGH I SLAPPED HIS REAR IM TOTALLY NOT QUEER"
NEkoiNU 18
You done goofed, John.
daemonsparta 16
pause
burnforeternity 30
Straight men don't slap each other's asses. Period.