Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Stacy's mom has got it going on!
every1luvsboners 11
That's when you say "no shit, I've always had a thing for you. You won't walk right for two weeks after I get done with you." Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, play the odds. Be a man, damnit!!
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Comments (120)
Pleonasm 36
It could be worse, it could've been a real foot in mouth moment. You toe-tally deserve this one.
wickedninja918 1
ah I was waiting for one of your clever puns, but I dont think YDI fits here just think what if the shoe was on the other foot
ManInTheMachine 20
You hit the nail on the head, Pleonasm. I don't know what the heel OP was thinking playing footsie in the first place. I mean, sure he sounds like a fungi, but there's no way to 'casually' mess with your girlfriend, during dinner, at her parent's house. Obviously he doesn't have any in-grown training.
Pleonasm 36
Your puns are a sight for Sore eyes, MITM, it really brings my piss to a Boil! Just kidding! But what an unsightly angle you chose for your foot related puns!
ebonyirony 29
maybe we should take a step back and think things out before we toe-tally **** things up.
yeti37 16
I'm sure he felt like a heel afterwards...
yeti37 16
I'm surprised she didn't give him the boot...
pradip 26
I think you can now ask for more than just a pic of her boobs, to know how her daughter will be when old.
pradip 26
Referring to another FML,
unknown_user5566 27
The real question is, how long did she let you play footsie before stopping you? If she let it happen for a few minutes, you may have a Plan B in case things don't work out with your current girlfriend.
ocramavaf 15
she did go toe to toe with him...
loserboii 11
Or if OP's girlfriend has a sister a plan C if Plan B doesn't work.
FlyingPie 17
It's a good thing you weren't at a restaurant, or you may have had to foot the bill.
perdix 31
"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Robinson." bow-chicka-bow-bow "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?" put it in the pantry with your cupcakes.
Enslaved 38
Oh, Brian! You dog!
loloalltheway 23
Blame it on the dog, nice one!
outoftown 27
You really put your foot in it this time.
lmbachman 23
That's awesome!!!
512bigt 10
sounds like a win
PokemonLove993 17
don't see how this is a fml it was a simple mistake. ya its embarressing but you can easily get over that in a matter of minutes, just laugh it off :)