Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
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Top comments
bettyc4 26
Stacy's mom has got it going on!
every1luvsboners 11
That's when you say "no shit, I've always had a thing for you. You won't walk right for two weeks after I get done with you." Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, play the odds. Be a man, damnit!!
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Comments (120)
perdix 31
It would suck if the mom had lost 100 lbs and you were playing footsie with her hanging-down cooter.
Pleonasm 36
Seems people don't get your references, or just don't like your cooter-humor... You've gotten off on the wrong foot, and I've gotten off over less weird things.
chippa 24
NOOOOO, the imagery! D:
perdix 31
#48, I know! While everyone loves boners, no one like hangy-down cooters. Poor hangy-down cooters.
pickles1994 18
Every1luvsboners I don't seem him post as much as he used too I like him. Thumb me down for the random comment. Meh.
buckdharma 38
seems like Brian was the one getting off on the wrong foot.
Chixken 6
He want the P.
amdolan 3
You liek old Pusey
Likian5 26
My only question is how you could have possibly confused your girlfriend's foot with her mom's...
buckdharma 38
because all his toes could find was the furniture.
AllThingsBright_ 11
It's not like OP could exactly stick his head under the table to match up his feet with his girlfriend's. He just assumed.
bitchsbehating 2
Awkward moment . LOL
cat1230 4
Hello Mrs. Robinson
perdix 31
Koo-koo-ka-choo!
babyshaft408 8
Shoulda nodded and kept doin it. She liked it
amdolan 3
Give her the ****
broncofan1 3
oooo lala
doglover100 29
How did the dad react?
buckdharma 38
he asked him to step outside.