Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s wedding, and when it came time to make a toast, I tried to stand up to make a speech. My suit jacket got caught on the chair, and I ended up falling flat on my back. The speech was drowned out by everyone laughing. FML
Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML
Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML
Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
why would you do the hunger games salute at a bar mitzvah anyway?
devildog562 33
This is a you deserve it all the way. Mazel tov to your friend.
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Comments (108)
feven 32
You have the worst timing in the world.
superjewguy 19
I'm a Jew and I approve op's FML lol
wvcheesehead 13
Jew gotta be kidding.
tony1891 22
dont jewish they was?
drrobotnik1 18
I don't know, guys, I think this post is heilarious, anne frankly I don't see what the big deal is.
123765 18
I bet you did nazi that coming
thatguy3812 25
Too soon #42
mollypop35 28
I don't get it
demonfacee 14
YDI. Why would you be making this signal at your friend's Bar Mitzvah? Even if it was sarcasm, you still deserve it for making the signal in the first place.
Ipsum629 13
you do realize that a Jew doesn't see 'mockinjay' he sees 'heil hitler'
Saikon1357 25
Ass.
terri_fran90 18
*Bat Mitzvah... not bar
metalcrazed 21
Um,no his friend is male he would have a bar mitzvah.