By calobrisi - 15/10/2013 19:34 - United States - East Northport

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 828
You deserved it 52 322

calobrisi tells us more.

calobrisi 8

OP Here! So I think everyone has kind of made this worse then it really was so let me explain. I am a girl, and I was in my own house. I was in a rush and didn't realize there was toilet paper right behind me on the toilet until afterwards. I couldn't get up or use something else because there was nothing else, and my father was home with me but we are not on speaking terms.The paper I used would certainly not give me any STD's because I had used it beforehand. Of course I realize what a dumbass I am, and honestly most of the comments made me laugh. But yeah it wasn't like I was "taking a shit" or anything. I probably should have "looked before I leaked." Thanks guys lol

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Look before you leak.

You didn't waddle around with your pants about your ankles looking for unused napkins or something. ANYTHING is better than used toilet paper.


Look before you leak.

But sometimes it's hard at the heat of the moment

ndomer 6

17, that can be said about more than just going to the bathroom

exactly. why use someone else's used toilet paper? honestly, you don't know what they have. that's disgusting.

21- lol, that's why I always have a condom in my wallet. Don't want a jr because I got caught up in the moment :)

#24 unless you carry toilet paper in your wallet as well then that doesn't really apply

It's more like "peak before you poop."

tjv3 10

That's just gross yo! I'm sure you had other options of it was your bathroom. Options like a magazine, a towel, or shower

Surrender the sock.

beautifulsoul89 11

Yes!!!! I always do that everywhere I go or I keep tissue or baby wipes in my purse (I still have small children as to why I keep baby wipes handy but ey, you never know!!!!)

beautifulsoul89 11

Lol @ #70

Search before you perch.

@33, I carry tissues and baby wipes in my purse for such an occasion. Being prepared isn't limited to condoms and guns, but they're a good example.

I always keep a small thing of tissues in my purse. And pads/tampons, despite the fact that I haven't had a period in six years, because you never know when someone else might need one.

gemstone586 12

Did no one else catch the convo between #17 & #21?? He wasn't saying use a condom instead of toilet paper.. :P

Always check first. That's what I go by.

MichellinMan 20

Wait wait wait, some people put their poopy toilet paper in the trash? Forgive me, that just seems odd.

juturnaamo 29

I'm going to guess it was soiled by someone using it to blow their nose, or wipe a shaving cut. Some people use all paper products interchangeably.

MichellinMan 20

^ probably true, although I don't know why I got thumbed down for that.

That's a bad case of Murphy's law, OP

what a shitty situation!

kind of too late for that buddy ^

No, she should prepare herself because villagers are moving with forks and torches

This pun should be banned.

gosh you fmlers are harsh!

Dodge4x4Ram 46

too many negatives

Situational awareness.

more like 'shit'uational awareness ;)

that's not very punny of you.

Looks like you just plunged straight into the old reusable toilet paper idea which is a shitty move to be honest. You flushed all other thought down the drain. Thats a wrap.

IworkAt711 14

I'd use my socks to wipe before I'd use someone elses shit. That's just dangerous.

You'd take them off first, right?

That mental picture... I'm scarred.

You didn't waddle around with your pants about your ankles looking for unused napkins or something. ANYTHING is better than used toilet paper.

I agree. And that's really gross. And unsanitary.

McNikk 15

In some countries they use their hand.

Yes, drip drying is far better than wiping yourself with someone else's ass remnants.

This might be TMI but I'd rather not wipe than risk catching some kind of weird infection from someone else's piss.

Agreed! Ignoring the idiocy of missing the clean rolls, how can anyone actually use used toilet paper?! So, so, so gross. I'd rather just pull my pants up and run to another toilet, at least then it's only your own muck on you rather than someone elses. Though if you're gonna get your panties dirty anyway, I guess you could just use your them, throw them in the bin after and then go commando for a bit.

That's a sheety situation.

Not only did you use this godawful pun, you also managed to spell 'shitty' wrong and use it after some already had Go for a walk and think about what you've done please

You didn't think to do a visual sweep of the room before resorting to that? D:

How small is your bathroom for you not to notice 3 fresh rolls of paper on your counter? YDI

Maybe OP is a midget and couldn't see over the counter