Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
Classy.
Jonasgl 0
so what was so funny? ;P
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Comments (125)
blowyourspeakers 0
....fml? nah i actually wish it was me, lol.
Einstein714 0
what's the fml, I thought this was funny
tenkenshi 2
Whoever had to clean up after you was probably swearing at you in front of your face in a different language.
matthewscott661 0
why do things like this always happen at chinese restaurants?
aback 5
Probably laughed even harder when your fortune cookie read: "Get out, and don't come back."
FreddyLunch 0
That's how all Chinese restaurants should kick people out.
Gavik 0
jesus christ what the **** is wrong with you people?
Rasputia 0
Oh, me so sorry!! You like pedicure? You want short nail or long nail? You pay now??? Okay, you pay now....it's betta for youuuuu.
Serafie 0
#19 summed it up well.
nickyzinks 0
Exactly. Well said.
poison29 0
agree. that's also incredibly rude to the staff that has to clean up your vomit and piss.
shamille 5
YOU LEAVE STORE NOW! NO COME BACK EVA!
Sokai_fml 0
LMAO, #71, I'm Asian and that made me bust out with laughter. xD;
fastcared 1
hardly an fml
Jimboom 12
Wow. You guys must be the life of the party... assuming the party was a water sports and other bodily fluids sex party.
ahoyhoy123 0
Woah. You and your friend sound like a bundle of fun!! ha. funniest thing iv heard all day.
ben_wah_balls 0
LOL.