Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML
Today, I was offered to attend a Buddhist ceremony by one of my regular customers. Not wanting to offend the couple, I made an excuse about have a project for oceanography. Surprise, the husband is an oceanographer and wants to help me with my imaginary project. Karma much? FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML
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Top comments
WeAreScrewed 3
cant bee that bad
cradle6 13
Something about your actions in previous lives affecting your caste in this life. At least originally.
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Comments (163)
rubberduckie94 13
Well the bee is dead, your friend is still alive. The bee sacrificed his life telling you to go seeing your friend will help them more than lighting a candle. lighting a candle only makes the person that does it feel better.
docscientist 10
What an imagination.
picklemonger 13
Karma's a bitch!
le_troll 0
Why are you holding a turd?
kei1108 13
I think it's a giant pickle... Haha
urdirtyolduncle 15
It's suppose to be a chode, people. You dont have to be a dirty old uncle to get that one.
digitaleurydice 7
94, Is that you, Uncle Lloyd?! (My dirty old uncle… haha.)
Anderling 33
Actually, according to buddhist beliefs, karma builds up over your life and determines what you'll be reborn as when you reincarnate. Us Western folk simply prefer to get instant results and proceded to attribute that meaning to the word 'karma'. Research: not just for college anymore.
tj4234 36
#20 *reborn, not reincarnated. They are actually two different things. But still, just a small error lol.
RebekahBrooke 9
You know 21, I just had to write a four page research paper on Buddhism for my IB History class, and my teacher didn't say anything about my use of reborn and reincarnated as synonyms.
tj4234 36
#79. Generally when you're in school they don't go into much detail about Buddhism because it is such a complicated religion. But I've been raised Buddhist my whole life. I've actually been raised by ordained Buddhists, some of whom being monks themselves. But anyway. Reincarnation requires a soul. Buddhists do not believe in a soul (at least not a permanent one) and so reincarnation cannot be used in terms of Buddhism. However rebirth does not require a soul for it to work. That's why there is a difference between the two terms.
helms97 0
I just learned about this in school, karma is indian ( everything you just described is indian ) buddhism is just "living simply and in peace".
catkat1988 17
Well, let me explain how karma does work: The sum of all your good and bad actions determine what you'll be re-born as when you die, as Bhuddists believe we'll continue to be re-born until the point where were reach Nirvana, if we've been exceptional during our live(s). So while lighting a candle for a friend would count as a good deed and result in good karma, it had absolutely nothing to do with a bee sting. It would, however, result in bad karma for the bee, counting towards the bee being re-born as something less worthy when it dies.
docscientist 10
That sucks for the bee; not even aware of the rules of the game, or what it supposedly did for that matter.
Levvy 22
Buddhism has never been about fairness. The traditional Buddhist hells (Naraka) are far more explicitly horrifying than the vague biblical "fire + wailing".
DynamicDave 11
I wonder if Kurt Cobain reached Nirvana.
silentbutfunny 0
Bees die after they sting something. So theoreticly it just made its next live worse and sooner
arcanesentry 14
What if the bee was defending its hive when it stung something, then of course died. Wouldn't it count as good karma?
ninjuh_wingman 29
Maybe its karma for something you did before. Plus the bee died so maybe its the bees karma.
obviousboy 8
Ask wall street. They seem to have it down. :P
teamjacob21 0
Awesome comment
Levvy 22
It works by allowing people to fob off tough moral dilemmas like the existence of evil in a supposedly just world by letting them assume every uncorrected evil is just getting fixed somewhere out of sight.
DocBastard 40
"Karma" just seems to be a synonym for "nasty coincidence" to morons these days. The morons are welcome to thumb me down. But secretly you know I'm right.
Yak99 0
I hate how people cant tell difference between reality and fiction
silentbutfunny 0
Karmas a bitch only if you are; the bee is going to catch hell.
ScarletBloom 14
That's why I'm an atheist.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Because Atheists never get stung by bees, right? Amazing logic, bro...
teamjacob21 0
Haha your an atheist because karma may not exist? God may not believe in karma either
bandeek 30
She said shes an atheist, cuz that means she doesnt have to worry about karma and reicarnation and crap. and btw, being atheist means she has no religion, not she just doesnt believe in the christian god. she doesnt believe in any god.
white16sox 19
108, for the most part the "gods" worshipped in religions are the same man/woman with a different name.
Draugen 16
Buddhism does not revere any gods, AKA an atheistic religion. Not worshipping a deity is not the same as not having a religion.