Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hoped whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch." Okay then. FML
Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML
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Top comments
madasahatter 0
No one likes a douche. No matter who baked the cake, you don't go around telling random people that it tastes like shit
lrb081 0
YTDI. When you're at a potluck style dinner... no wait, ANY kind of dinner that you didn't cook, keep your damn mouth shut and your opinions to yourself. I see your parents failed miserably at raising a polite and well mannered child.
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Comments (87)
Starfire22 5
Also there is nothing wrong with New Jersey women! Just because some NJwomen are bitchydoes not mean we all are! There's always some in every state, so don't judge us all!
steevy831 0
Whats wrong with that? This man needs to know that his bitch doesnt have taste buds. Good work!
CowGoesMoo 0
You totally deserve that. Never complain about food at a place where you are receiving it for free. Did no one teach you any manners, ever? Geez...
Sapphy 0
well maybe the wife should know that the cake tastes like shit. =/ so that way it can be fixed in the future
Evaligon 0
taste like A S***??? it is either a piece of or just S***. you are retarded.... learn english
_20jre 0
you are retarded for pointing out nothing and your face looks like S***, gtfo
marshmallowmouse 0
YDI - you should always wait until you get home to bitch. Even if the person you're talking to isn't offended like they were here, someone can still hear you, and it just makes you look snobbish. And like #44 said - it's FREE, quitcha bitchin
NumberZine 0
If it really did taste like shit, he already knew. And if he got offended over you stating the truth, then he's the jackass. If it tasted fine and you were trying to be funny or some other weird shit, then you're just an idiot.
latkematzoball 0
stfhu, nj is called the garden state for a reason. my friend from md wants to move here so bad, this nice lil nj town montclair... u guys just be jealous :)
RPGod 0
Well, now the OP knows not to be a douche because anybody could be listening.
tash14 1
YDI for being rude/inconsiderate. Just throw the cake away, if it's really that terrible people will figure it out on their own.