Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hoped whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch." Okay then. FML
Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML
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Top comments
madasahatter 0
No one likes a douche. No matter who baked the cake, you don't go around telling random people that it tastes like shit
lrb081 0
YTDI. When you're at a potluck style dinner... no wait, ANY kind of dinner that you didn't cook, keep your damn mouth shut and your opinions to yourself. I see your parents failed miserably at raising a polite and well mannered child.
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Comments (87)
jane99 2
Why couldn't you just type 'shit'?
TheRoker 0
god your a ****** dumb ass! eho cares if the cake tastes like ... you should have kept your mouth shut!
xApril 0
What the ****. Keep those thoughts in your head, you ass.
jessamyn_it_is 0
YDI for bing a foul mouth and talking that way to strangers
Jaygirl 0
that's why you ask who made it/where they bought it first... before you make a complaint about food
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Not a news flash to him, as the poor **** probably eats her shitty food every day. You may as well have told him his shoes were brown, or black or paisley. FHL.
Zeta91 0
lmfao
doggie3 0
and that is why you never do that
baileythebadazzb 0
Remember that little talk we had about keeping your thoughts to yourself? :)
urabch 0
lmao you are Jesus
2gether4ever 0
well at least your wife didn't bake it ! annd shut up #1, women can SO cook.