Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe lights on and music blasting. He was by himself and had absolutely nothing on. FML
Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
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Top comments
dmmd8686 0
Should have gone up to him and said "that'll cost you 20 for the show"
regalarius 0
Man, if I had a dollar for every minute I've been glad no one was watching me, I'd be a rich man. FYL. Also: in before "do him"
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Comments (201)
tgd4444 9
yay finally a FML i moderated came up... and yea, fyl
jmeg_fml 0
Haha wow but consider this from the dad's standpoint. He's trying to get chores done at his house when he sees a totally off-limits young girl all up on a pole, dancing to sexy music in his kitchen? The tie between major win and major lose is enough to fry my brain. No wonder he got a boner.
Laci_Laine 0
It's actually true- guys naturally get them 15-20 times a day just to keep the circulatory system in their dick healthy ( not full on boners tho!). But if he was watching her do a "slutty" dance and had a boner that probly jhad something to do with it
aback 4
Gross. Your friend's dad thinks you're hot.
marisalee 0
American beauty
losergirl 0
hahaha ew. where was your friend while this was happening?
Kamazar 0
Contrary to popular belief, if we guys see something hot, we can't control what goes on with our control module down there. It's entire involuntary. Don't judge us, it's just a subconscious compliment ;)
k_girlcrazy08 0
i'm with #5, why in your friends house? you really shoulda looked around before you did that lol.
Trooth 13
fyl because that's an akward situation but ydi for doing the dance
PublicEnemy961 0
He must be huge if he was "washing the windows with a boner". Question though, was it his boner or someone elses?
milgalo 0
This comment made the FML a LOT funnier. x] Haha misplaced modifier. :] I cracked up for like 10 minutes. n_n
angrymole 0
#9 is correct....