Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got... - FML

By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 569

You deserved it 2 245

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 220

You deserved it 5 374

By AmberHavoc - 02/01/2013 15:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 995

You deserved it 46 786

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 881

You deserved it 2 324

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 461

You deserved it 1 563

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 65

By LovelySB - 21/04/2019 04:00

Today, while trying to get over all the emotional things I've been going through, I forgot that my bedroom door was open and here my silly behind was dancing in my underwear while my roommate watched on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 708

By MakesMeLol - 18/01/2012 22:30 - Ireland

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 273

You deserved it 6 780

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 083

You deserved it 40 652

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 888

You deserved it 2 724

Next

Top comments

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:18

You should just go back to bed.

supimnyancat 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:21

Did you join him?

Comments

ILike_Dancing123 19

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:34

Wow what a nice way to wake up, seeing your drunk neighbour wiggling their bits about dancing. I bet seeing them after this will be awkward.

Jkolbly 11

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:36

Did you invite him in for breakfast?

deviable 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:37

Climbing while drunk is just too much effort, my bet is on op having to fix a new hole in his fence.

FatTony2010 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:38

Why not down some JD and join in?

cookeemonster 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:38

Maybe :) I wouldn't put it past a drunk to play hulk and create a hole.

chris36taylor 2

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:39

Was it a girl? If it was, join her. (:

OkitaCockroach 19

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:39

Mm, appetising.

ch3s 4

Monday 19 March 2012 4:11

Rarity, get your mind out of the gutter! :P

yuzuhere 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:43

Always brighten your morning with a glass of orange juice and a heaping bowl of naked.

ka1729 14

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:51

they were just saying good.morning

yuri63f6 7

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:51

Pics or it didn't happen.

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The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 182

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 10 103

The Top

Today, I learned that all the caffeine my body can handle and boundless energy will not stop me from yawning. Thirty times in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 131

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 191

Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that stood in front of a display. The girl then shot me a nasty look, grabbed her boyfriend and started pointedly making out with him. I was just trying to buy some butter. But thanks for reminding me how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 587

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I wanted to buy a Philly cheesesteak from my campus grill, but I was running late so I ordered a grilled cheese as it would be simpler to prep. I then waited 20 minutes and watched as the cooks made 4 cheesesteaks for other orders before even starting my grilled cheese. I was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 289

You deserved it 1 449

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 472

Today, I was in the middle of a wank when my home's back door, which is always locked, suddenly opened and someone walked in. I’m not sure who was more surprised: me or the new maintenance guy who saw me wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 327

You deserved it 639