Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheCookieComet 23
I guess you got buns hun.
cutycat136 28
Should have just brushed it off and said sorry sir, I believe you may be in the wrong place for that dish. Try ordering something on the menu please
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
eureka_fml 6
It must be terrible to be objectified in that way.
ENCOURAGER 12
somone is about to get a tip alright
sammii_kna 18
Even though you are a guy you should probably expect to start hearing comments like that. Sadly people will be rude. But hey take it as a compliment. Apparently you have a nice butt.
elizacandle 29
sorry that happened, but in behalf of EVERY WOMAN OUT THERE- we feel you
mrdvs31 3
Cut him a piece
redheadedmonster 24
Are you sure it was directed at you? Even though he was answering you he could've been looking at someone else in the restaurant. At least that's my take on your FML
Pizzapiggy1 18
You don't really need to say "I'm a guy" because there are gay people too, and if you have got buns, you got buns.
crackajak 15
Did you serve it up to him a la mode?
mrlawlor7777 26
If you're that upset about this scenario, go find a new job. Wait staff get tons of creepers. Also, to protect yourself, finish your sentence with either "to eat" or "to drink". Open ended questions can lead to bad comments.
sdroze1389 31
that's actually useful advice. you don't get a lot of that on FML
kattykat1 13
Must have that Kim K booty