Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML
Today, while waiting on a customer at a restaurant, I accidentally asked a midget if she'd like a children's menu. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I had dinner at a local fast-food joint. There's an employee there that I usually talk to and flirt with, so I thought maybe it was time to ask for her number. After a small conversation and almost getting to the point, she told me, "I'm 17." I'm 23. FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
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Top comments
TheCookieComet 23
I guess you got buns hun.
cutycat136 28
Should have just brushed it off and said sorry sir, I believe you may be in the wrong place for that dish. Try ordering something on the menu please
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Comments (139)
Curtis66 19
Congrats on a new job, hopefully people aren't all like that.
lauralabia3 13
Take it as a compliment, regardless of the giver.
MisterEx 28
Even if it was my uncle?
feven 32
It's only the first day. Stay optimistic OP
WolfyGrace 24
Well, maybe they're gay? Even if they aren't, take it as a compliment. It isn't every day someone tells you that! Unless it is, but based off the FML, I'm willing to assume that isn't the case.
MisterEx 28
Since you are willing to assume, then so am I. I am willing to assume you wrote your comment half asleep.
jryan2 16
I'm willing to assume he's an idiot
Wizardo 34
As a former waiter, you have to get used to making stupid and weird conversation all the time. If its a little too crude tell the customer that it is not acceptable and just keep it moving bruh.
JustinJK 21
Or play it up and get more tips.
wheresmymary 22
We all have our preferences
drmann 7
Just go with it. The tip will be better
EvilTurtle 35
Giggity
annie_zoo 27
are you david beckham? <3
MisterEx 28
I am. May I help you?
muarif 19
Don't be flattered, am sure he was pointing towards a cow. :P
MisterEx 28
Breuh
jstaines47 16
Honest he's probably just gay so who cares maybe you have a nice ass for a guy