Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML
Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML
Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Sounds legit to me O_o
me234 7
Time for a new doctor.
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Comments (139)
StrangeDuckling 9
Seems Legit
maggienichols 0
that's free healthcare for you..haha.
Jobby 11
Haha best doctor EVER!
outoftown 27
I once (in desperation) tried accupuncture for migraine. The practitioner explained that in Chinese medicine something called the "gallbladder meridian" was associated with migraine, but that CM body part terms did not always correspond to those of Western medicine. Long story short, the needles eliminated the migraine if it was caught early. (Pardon errors; typing this with migraine. I miss my acupuncturist.)
HailFairy 2
Maybe he was being sarcastic and suggesting that migraines pass naturally.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Must have been a former Army doc.
jalapeno47 5
:s.
angelofmusic113 9
Did you go to Doctor House?
Rectov 10
Nope he's a doctor and he's always right. That's how they think anyway
Shellz866 8
Actually maybe the doctor noticed something in OP's physical appearance that also hinted at gallstones. Put that symptom along with the migraines and an irregular heartbeat or heart palpitations and you got a legit diagnosis. Sure, he might sound like a crackpot but he could be right.