Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I felt sick. He told me to describe the symptoms I had. With every new symptom I described, he took a step back. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML
Today, I called my insurance company begging for a new doctor. All my current one does is prescribe antidepressants for everything. Migraines? AD! Dizziness? AD! Birth control? AD! I’ve been having rough periods and I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to push pills to bill us more. FML
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Today, after two weeks of migraines, my doctor informed me that bowel movements are one my triggers. This means every time I shit, I will have a headache. FML
Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Sounds legit to me O_o
me234 7
Time for a new doctor.
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Comments (139)
GripItRight 10
The gallstones must be in his head! Because everybody knows migraines get worse after you get the doctor's bill!
BlackHarry 0
Sounds like my hernia surgeon.
heyred 11
Hopefully your name is Dave?
polostick 4
Sounds like an episode of House M.D.
_wraith 15
Bwahah. Oh that made me laugh outrageously. Definitely find a new doc, asap.
Thrasherrr 3
Actually he might be right, I didn't know u were a doctor and knew what the body did -.-
renrooni 4
He could be onto something
davek 36
Hi, everybody! Hi, Dr Nick!
glitchez 2
Gallstones don't pass unless with a stent placed. Maybe he was so high he thought of kidney stones but blurted gall... That's the problem with some of our doctors these days... It's all about the big bucks. No ones acting like house anymore ^_~
UltimAnimus 5
Oh he's a dr.? Yeah. He definitely knows what he's doing lol.