Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, I’ve been single for so long that my mom’s friends ask her if I’m a lesbian, all because I’m 35 and not married yet. Truth is, my last relationship fucked me up so bad that the thought of falling in love with someone again makes me physically ill. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML
Today, and hopefully for the last time, my grandma gave me a lecture about getting with the times, that it's socially acceptable nowadays, to be honest with myself, be free, and to come out. Emphasizing on the "Dearie" endearments. Apparently, to her and "most people today", being a bachelor-by-choice means you're gay. FML
Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML
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Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
She didn't have to ask anything. Gay people have relationships too, you being single has nothing to do with your sexual oriwntation. Just sounds nosey to me, that's not really a necessary question
missd93 6
You should be like, "No, Grandma. I love cats. Their love is all I will ever need. And they won't get jealous when I bring more cats home." In utter seriousness.
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Comments (77)
AllThatHit 7
Maybe she's just anxious to have great grandchildren.
likan_fml 14
U can still like them and not have a need to date them...if ur in the bushes stalking them
hondaguy000 6
She's probably tired of hearing you jerking it and wants you to get it in and give her some grand babies.
perdix 31
#16, do the math! The OP is already her grandbaby, you mean great-grandbabies. Don't mean to go all Genealogy Nazi on you, but y'know...
pdp_fml 21
Have you tried actually dating some women?
buckdharma 38
Ask granny who she's doing.
HeartOfLead 24
This just sounds like another FML to he posted...
picante72 24
Read a book about how to become a PUA (pickup artist). Then get a wingman and start gaming.
Satoaoi 13
I love my grama good ol grama
doritowhore 9
Grandparents tend to be more judgmental because they're going on what was "the norm" when they were younger, which has changed immensely compared to now. In their day and age it was common to be already settled down at a different age than now.
KareBear7364 5
lol nice grams...don't worry op the right one will come at the right time:)
nousernamesworks 12
Haha.