Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
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Top comments
lylotrezor 20
I guess you're a free elf now.
cosmosis 12
Happy Birthday OP:) congrats on making it to 18!
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Comments (86)
ckrider64 8
u sure they werent to use as a sex toy?
ninaskyez 12
A pineapple? Dafuq!
RittaPitta 8
Well, look on the bright side OP. At least you didn't break out in hives, have your throat swell to the size of a cantaloupe and have to be taken to the hospital to stop the allergic reaction.
Trogre 6
Ask them whether you are adopted.
firepanda11 7
Omg I moderated this! Yeah this does suck, I said yes because your parents spent less than 5$ on your gift. FYL.
iperson 11
That sucks
timakinz 21
It's my 18th birthday too! All my best friends willingly left me alone to go to their respective villages :)
hienzburgess 9
AHAHAHA LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE
Omniprism 15
Wtf! Sorry OP maybe it's a birthday where you can move away?
rinnai 6
Hey I remember moderating this FML, but it had something else. It also said that your sister turned 10 and your parents got her an iPhone and $200. Maybe the admins cut it.