By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks 63 970
You deserved it 9 400
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Top comments

Intoxicunt 5

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

188 8
Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

124 2

Comments

Intoxicunt 5

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

188 8
blahh77 0

hahaahaha i say go with this one. lol kudos for a great come back.

8 0
crap09 0

Ya beat me there, Intoxicunt.

5 0
judgeymcjudge 0

LMAO! I was going to applaud this comment, and then I saw that it was a product of Intoxicunt. I think I will just applaud Intoxicunt in general, being that this is the second comment made of WIN I have seen by you in a short period of time. Kudos, my friend. Kudos.

5 0
Intoxicunt 5

Thank you, your honor. :) I always love appreciation.

2 0
lol123mely 0

"mkay" reminded me from southpark from that teacher >.< but your comment was awesome

2 0
Intoxicunt 5

Me too. Haha. But it's how a lot of people say "ok" when talking fast. Kind of a brief "unh" then the "kay".

0 0
Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

124 2
diary_of_jane 0

... XD Agreed; if it was he probably wouldn't be able to walk, never mind thrust with it properly...

6 0
plutosaplanet 0

what guy would ever turn down his girlfriends seductive moves to have sex? i think the problem isnt how tight or loose you are but the guy youre dating....

24 4
Plumppotato 3

or it could be that her seductive moves just arent that seductive.

1 3
Ughsucks 0

I'd turn down sex if we JUST had sex... 1-2 days/week is enough to wear anyone out... maybe the OP is doing it wrong.

0 11
Zinok 0

I agree with Intoxicunt. He sounds like an ass.

10 1
awuh_man 0

YDI for being a whiny bitch maybe you're loose. why does this **** your life? and YDI for saying, 'initiate sex.'

2 40
Princesschronic 0

Wow dude! U at really insentive but then again ur a guy, u wouldn't get it.... It's a fml because her boyfriend insulted her. It made her feel bad, duh maybe u need to goto a councler to get some emotional help. How would u feel if u had a tiny penis and couldn't please ur parenter?

9 2
yawneall 0

i think you at pretty insensitive too

0 6
Than_fml 0

No, you don't get it. Being loose is not an insult.

1 7
Plumppotato 3

that was sexist. "U at really insentive but then again ur a guy, u wouldn't get it...."

6 2
awuh_man 0

actually, i'm a girl so don't call me insensitive. and i think she's being whiny so many fml's now are just girls being whiny because their boyfriend doesn't like everything about them or their boyfriend says one little thing maybe she should just calm down and leave him alone what if he just couldn't get it up? then he was just saying that. it wasn't being rude. so what if she isn't tight? get the **** over it.

3 8
turnedoffTVgrey 0

I don't think it's an asshole thing to say. Your ****** does stretch out a little when you have sex. It's not like you can shove a watermelon up there, but it definitely stretches a little. I can tell the difference when we've gone a few days without having sex, because I've "tightened" up a bit. I don't think it's a big deal. He was probably just tired or wasn't in the mood.

7 19
sjx 0

...Then he could have just said "I'm tired" or "I'm not in the mood".

26 1
shannon2348 14

your ****** doesn't work that way. that's ridiculous.

0 0
taz1 1

Tell him you understand & he doesn't need to be to embarassed to make an excuse like that- some guys just can't get it up every night!

17 0
bbboy 0

Wow! Your better than my gf. She doesnt initiate shit. Crappy bf tho. Fyl.

11 0
plexico 3

She should have said, "Don't flatter yourself."

4 0
galafael5814 0

Your boyfriend sounds like a dick. I've been married for a year and I still have to beat the husband off with a stick when I'm not in the mood. Move on to someone who doesn't suck. I suggest a Latin man, they're very appreciative lovers.

27 3
Intoxicunt 5

I'll take your advice! Now find me one, please.

14 0
screwtaylor 0

Fez from 'That 70's Show' was a very passionate lover.

8 0
Intoxicunt 5

You're right! But he's too dumb. I'm thinking his passion, Omar Rodriguez-Lopez's intelligence, and I don't know whose body.

0 0
plexico 3

galafael5814, You do it with a stick? I'd prefer you do it with your bare hand, and maybe some lotion.

1 1
Princesschronic 0

Wow only a fag says that

0 11