Intimacy: Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on...

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 034

You deserved it 9 422

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By sierra.sl31 - 28/07/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend of over a year decided he wants us to wait to get married before having sex again, after we've had sex almost every night of being together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 280

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 284

You deserved it 402

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 632

You deserved it 16 457

Not feeling it

By thisisstupid_17 - 16/11/2016 14:47

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 872

You deserved it 1 372

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 500

You deserved it 6 771

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 854

You deserved it 5 313

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 13:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 6 689

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 5 730

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 416

You deserved it 8 838

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 428

You deserved it 588

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:22

Tell him this: "Babe, why don't we wait a few years and give your **** time to grow, mkay?"

Lackadaisy_Baby 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 20:23

Assuming he was being serious about the "tighten back up" bit, your boyfriend's a ******* tard. The only thing that could really "loosen" the ****** is childbirth, and even then, that's only temporary most of the time. And I seriously doubt his dick's the circumference of a baby's head.

Comments

ragsy 7

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:35

"Barn Door Betty"

liveandletlive89 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 22:43

Maybe he wasn't in the mood, or the sex wasn't good. This isn't a 'fml'

danny1728 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:03

As far as I'm concerned, I would never turn down sex period! Dump the loser before he dumps you cause it sounds like he's bored.

crankyolecoot 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:04

Dump and move on.

good_life35 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:05

this isn't an FML; this is disgusting.

lol123mely 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:46

how the **** is this disgusting?

sillylung 0

Friday 28 August 2009 0:52

Truth. We need better FMLs. The "girl unsuccessfully having sex with her boyfriend for one night" is getting stale.

c6dragster 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:12

your life is average... mylifeisaverage.com

Than_fml 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 23:40

Yeah, because you women don't say anything like that to us right? I like how most of the responses are he's either gay of has a small wang. Like we turn down sex and theirs something wrong with US. Believe it or not sometimes, just like you, we ain't in the mood. I know for some of you that's a new concept, but there you go.

withered 30

Saturday 5 May 2018 16:55

It's not that he turned down sex, it's that he insulted her based on his ignorance about the human body and long debunked myths (thinking muscles get loosen if you use them -> sex loosens ******, thinking his dick can actually have effect on someone's ******'s size, not knowing vaginas loosen as a woman gets aroused). I have no idea how people like him even find someone that wants to have sex with them. Sex with someone that knows so little about it and so little about the human body must be just horrible.